governments rob the people of the future by having deficits

 We are the people of the future for the governments of the past.

having trouble sleeping in the middle of the night

 Try bake n'wake. Take too much THC when you wake up. You will sleep in longer than usual. And wake up feeling extra rested.

if Geppetto gave life to the Pilsbury doughboy

 he would be Jim Gaffigan.